


The Start of Something New

by daydreamsonacloudyday



Series: Madelyn Trevelyan [2]
Category: Dragon Age (Video Games), Dragon Age: Inquisition
Genre: F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-05-25
Updated: 2015-05-25
Packaged: 2018-03-31 19:52:52
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,928
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3990631
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/daydreamsonacloudyday/pseuds/daydreamsonacloudyday
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Madelyn and Cullen decide to start their relationship despite potential complications.</p>
            </blockquote>





	The Start of Something New

**Author's Note:**

> This is my take on the first kiss/initiate the romance scene with Cullen, though I changed a few things around to better suit him and Madelyn specifically. It’s also worth noting that [Madelyn doesn’t have the best track record when it comes to relationships](http://daydreamsonacloudyday.tumblr.com/post/116656472308/madelyn-was-in-love-twice-before-she-fell-for). This is also the first thing I’ve written about them, which is exciting and scary at the same time!

Madelyn drew her brows together, her lips pursed as she walked towards Cullen's office. Upon reaching the door, she stopped, staring at the wood as she released a shaky breath. Her armor suddenly felt too tight, the layers of leather and metal heavy on her shoulders, as if it were strangling her. She frowned, irritated that her nerves were getting the better of her.

It had been years since she had such _feelings_ for another person. Despite herself, she was so distracted by thoughts of the Commander that she could barely think straight. She knew she needed to address what was blooming between them before it was too late—her duty as Inquisitor had to remain her top priority. 

Maybe in another time or place they would have a chance, but— _no_. Madelyn couldn't afford to ponder _maybe's_ and _what if's_. She needed to end things between them before they began. It would be better for everyone that way.

Maker, she was truly cursed with the worst luck when it came to men.

Knocking as she opened the door, she finally entered Cullen's office, her eyes quickly glancing over the room until they landed on him. He stood at his desk, hunched over his seemingly never-ending paperwork. He lifted his gaze from his work and quickly stood up straight when he saw who his visitor was.

"Inquisitor," he greeted with a smile. 

"Commander."

"Was there something you needed?"

"I thought we could talk," she started, then glancing towards the other doors into his office, waiting for the inevitable arrival of one of his men. "Alone."

"Alone?" he repeated, brows momentarily furrowing before they shot up towards his hairline. "I mean, of course." He gestured towards the door, and she followed him out onto the battlements. 

It would have been like every other walk they had taken in the past if it weren't for the way Madelyn's stomach churned with every step. Cullen patiently waited while she struggled for the right words, until he realized that the lack of her usual directness meant something was wrong.

"It's a nice day," Cullen said, clearing his throat as he rubbed the back of his neck.

"I'm sorry, what?" Madelyn asked, so lost in thought she barely heard him.

"It's… there was something you wish to discuss."

"Right," she muttered, stopping as she stared out at the mountains surrounding Skyhold. Breathing deeply, she turned her attention back to the man beside her. "We need to discuss this, _us_ …" Cullen opened his mouth to speak, but instead sighed, settling for a simple nod of agreement. "I value our friendship, Cullen. It's so important to me, and I don't want to ruin what we already have by saying this, but… it's becoming more and we… we can't _be_ more than friends." Madelyn swallowed hard, a knot forming in her throat at the flash of hurt she caught in his eyes before his gaze dropped from hers. 

"You're the commander of my armies," she continued, desperate to explain herself. She was positive he had already considered the circumstances that kept them apart, but now that she started speaking, she couldn't stop. "A relationship between two people who work together, especially when one is of higher rank than the other… it's inappropriate and it would never work out. And even if that wasn't a factor… in the end, we may not both survive this. The world is falling apart, and it's my duty to fix it, even if it costs me my life."

Meeting her gaze again, Cullen stared at her, his lips pressed into a thin line, shifting on his feet as he released a deep breath.

"But," Madelyn added, her eyes searching his face, "no matter how many times I tell myself we could never have anything, I still find myself thinking of you… more than… well, all the time, really." Her confession brought warmth to his gaze, the tiniest of smiles tugging at the corner of his lips. She huffed, heat blooming in her cheeks at how _much_ she had admitted to him.

"I can't say I haven't wondered what it would be like," Cullen began, but then his face fell. Madelyn's heart swelled at his words before it clenched in her chest—she could see him burying those thoughts away. "But you're right," he continued, "You're the Inquisitor. We're at war. And you… I didn't think it was possible for you to…"

Breathing in sharply, Madelyn's eyes widened. "You didn't… Oh, Cullen…" Her fingers twitched at her side as she resisted the urge to touch him, to cup his cheek with her hand and brush her fingertips over his stubbled jaw. "Of course it was— _is_ —possible," she whispered. "I just wish… if things were different…"

Cullen smiled wistfully. "If only."

His gaze dropped to her lips, and it was only then that she realized just how close he was to her. She didn't remember him being that close before, so close that there was barely any space between them. She couldn't concentrate, not when his mouth parted, his tongue darting out to quickly wet his lips. Unconsciously, she mirrored his actions, licking her own parted lips as her gaze flicked to his mouth. He was leaning in—or she was, she was unsure—his eyes closing as he got closer, hers fluttering closed a moment later. Seconds that felt like hours later, she felt it, his breath ghosting over her lips, sending a shiver down her spine.

"Commander!"

Madelyn's eyes immediately shot open at the intrusion, to find Cullen staring back at her, his lips barely an inch from hers. Blinking rapidly, she stepped back against the edge of the battlements and pressed her hands against the solid stone to steady herself. The soldier that interrupted them was still talking, completely oblivious to what he had walked in on, and Cullen whirled around to face him.

" _What?_ " he growled, drawing the soldier's attention from the papers he had in his hand.

"Sister Leliana's report. You wanted it delivered 'without delay,'" the man clarified. He stared at Cullen before glancing towards her, and she felt herself blush as she looked away. She waited a moment before peeking at him, only to find his eyes had grown wide while he stared at Cullen again. "Or… to your office… right," he mumbled, quickly backing away until he turned and scurried off.

Sighing, Madelyn's shoulders slumped, her eyes finding Cullen's as he turned to face her again. He stepped towards her, but she placed her hand on his breastplate to stop him from getting too close. 

"The Inquisition needs you, Commander," she said firmly, trying to keep her voice from wavering. "I should let you get back to work."

She turned and pulled away from him, but barely took a step before he caught her hand and tugged her back to face him. Without hesitation, Cullen closed the distance between them, his hand gently grabbing the back of her neck as he silenced her surprised gasp with his lips.

For a moment, all Madelyn could do was stand still as he pressed his mouth to hers, her thoughts racing. The sensation of his warm lips moving over hers coaxed her out of her shocked state, and she found herself returning his kiss. It was tentative—their lips molding together, their breath mingling as they tasted each other for the first time. Cullen's other hand came up to cup her cheek, and Madelyn grasped at his arms to steady herself as the kiss deepened, his tongue brushing over her bottom lip before she allowed it entry, his tongue dancing with hers in a way that left her absolutely breathless.

When they finally parted for air, neither of them moved away, their foreheads resting against one another's as they caught their breath. Cullen pulled back, his eyes darting to the side before he met her gaze, smiling bashfully.

"I'm sorry… that was… um… really nice."

A breathy laugh slipped from Madelyn's throat, and she nodded, smiling back. "It was." 

After one more shy glance, they were kissing again, all reservations forgotten as they held each other as close as their armor allowed. The metal clinked and scraped together, and when they broke apart they were laughing at the racket they caused.

"You should really get back to work now," Madelyn said, when their laughter died down. "I have things to do as well."

Cullen nodded, unable to stop smiling. "You're right." He lightly brushed his fingers over the scar on her cheek before stepping back. "We'll speak later?"

"Yes."

…

They didn't see each other until the following morning, when Madelyn met with Cullen and her other advisors at the war table. She had spent nearly every moment since their kiss on the battlements thinking about the way Cullen's lips felt pressed against hers, the way her entire body shivered in delight as he held her close, the way he drew the breath right out of her lungs… But the more she thought about it, the more her initial worries crept back into her mind, constantly nagging at her until she was just as conflicted as she was before she had gone to speak with him—if not more.

The moment she walked into the war room and saw Cullen, she knew she wasn't alone in her troublesome thoughts. Once the meeting was over, she and Cullen remained behind in a tense silence when the others left.

"When I came to you yesterday, I didn't expect things to turn out the way they did," Madelyn stated, pulling her eyes away from the markers on the war table to look at Cullen. Maker help her, she wanted to kiss him again, and it was all she could do to keep her gaze from dropping to his lips. "I was fully prepared to end things between us before they truly began, but now…" she huffed, shaking her head. "It sounds ridiculous, and childish, even, but after experiencing that one moment with you, I want so much to just forget about everything that could go wrong if we did this."

Cullen moved closer to her, resting his hand on the hilt of his sword. Taking a deep breath, he briefly closed his eyes before focusing on her again. "It seems too much to ask. But I want to… I want this, _you_."

"So you don't regret the kiss, then?" she asked, a shaky breath escaping her lips.

"No! No. Not at all." He paused a moment, unsure. "Do you?"

"No."

They stared at each other, another long silence settling between them. 

Finally, Cullen cleared his throat. "I think… we should give it a shot," he said quietly, and Madelyn snapped her eyes to his, barely daring to believe it.

"Things could get complicated."

"I know. But, I'm willing to try… if you are."

She pursed her lips as her mind raced. Would she truly deny herself this? For all she knew, it would work. She wasn't a young, naïve girl anymore, it could be different this time… she prayed it would be different this time.

"I… yes, I'm willing to try. Maker help me, but I want this."

"Good," Cullen breathed with relief, smiling at her. He reached out to pull her close and brushed a stray curl behind her ear. His fingers lightly traced over the scar on the edge of her jaw, the leather of his gloves soft on her skin. "May I kiss you again?"

Madelyn laughed, her lips curling into a smile to match his own. "Absolutely."


End file.
